I call your name but you are not listening anymore. It seems as though you left me behind without so much of a care in the world. I will whisper songs into the night time in order for secrets to reveal themselves. Its only when the night time creeps in that things begin to be real and as they ought to be. I've always like the dark. It captures things that can not be seen in the midst of the everyday in which we call life, our life. Things are not what they seem anymore. We are separate for now and I will keep a piece of this locked away, protecting the very nature of everything we know to be true. It will be watered daily and sometimes I will take it out and tell all of my secrets once again, but for now its time to close the door. It's tugging on my sleeve again and I can't resist and open it once more to sneak another quick glance. You are there in all your glory and I am smiling from around the back. You know what this means because you always do.
I can't even begin to express how wonderful these things are. The ones that have been hiding for so long have found a way there way to surface. They tiptoed around and whispered just to make sure it was safe and that the coast was clear. They are touching the surface of everything as only these things can. I am sitting here smiling at how the strangest of things can begin to emerge once the space that was left behind begins to fill. The edges are rusty but that doesn't matter, perfection is the killer of all things I good. Things falling out, that overflowing drawer which barely closes, broken shoes and scars that cover your body these are the things that sit well with me. My scars are waiting to be seen by you. You will be running around in your socks the one with the hole in the toe and I will be sitting smiling waiting for you to realise what I know to be true. This is how these things are running away from us. My hair blows in the breeze as we peddle down the street on our second hand bikes. Some one is shouting us in the distance and we shout back at the top of our lungs without a care in the world. My hands try to capture part of this moment and I take a picture in my mind. One that will last forever. I can hear the sound of the water running down the pebbled street and I quickly duck underneath. It is a delicate process things such as these, we need taking care of enough to be free.
Life is so precious, there are times when this feels so strong. It is one of those days, the slightest noise wakes me from sleep and I'm back as though its happening all over again. Panic sets in and I am paralysed by everything. Visions haunt me of what I saw before it emerged. My heart is sad, sad to see the world come to this. We are so close but live on opposite sides of the fence, both pushing for what we believe to be right. I almost can't believe it. I feel protected in some way someone was looking out for me and I was thinking of you. You are always in my dreams and I wish for better things that I could not give. Some things are not possible these days. Age is not treating me well and my body is failing me. I can barely see or hear but I know what is true. Remember the leaves are there to give you a sign. I never gave up hope and will leave you letters and hide them in places for you to find one day when you're old and wrinkly. I hope you feel the joy you always wished for and laugh, I will always remembering you laughing and you eyes twinkling. I send my whispers into the night sky and hope that they will reach you someday.
There was nothing left. The leaves had all fallen away except for one. This was what I called hope in the olden days. I imagine it to be black and white like the movies. It was different some how. Some how, some how, just somehow. I like the feeling where it is safe for me to be me, it just makes sense like you have my back as though I could fall from the greatest height and you would always catch me. Like you are the family I was always looking for. You will always catch me when I fall. The space in between me and them is this feeling. This feeling as though everything makes sense. You know exactly what I mean without explanation. The others need everything spelling out but you're different. You have always been different. I crunch the leaf in my hand and it turns grey like what happens when we get old. I trace the wrinkles around your eyes each time you smile. My finger moves from side to side, repeating this familiar pattern that my body remembers without a flicker of a doubt. And you look me in the eyes one more time and then it begins again...
Knots, leaves, broken things are surrounding us. It's like barbed wire that is impossible to get around. It's really tricky and spiky but no one can deny that it is there. But its worth it if you make the effort. Like my feelings. I thought over time they would fade but they are still there. Its hard and stupid to ignore them. I can see now clearly everything that it stops me from allowing the good things. The things that matter. You can have what you want that's what they say isn't it. Well some day I believe this to be true and other times I find it hard to accept. A bit like me really. I'm like some broken old toy that got left behind, I'm half hidden under the bed but my left leg is poking out just enough to show you I'm still here. Smoke signals are sometimes needed and always wanted. Did you know that life is waiting on us? Moments are passing us by and I'm fading away with each second. The clock is ticking in the background and I'm running towards you.
Write something about yourself. No need to be fancy, just an overview.