Right or wrong it's just the way it is. My jaw is tense from all the fighting. I fight, I kick and I scream just not in the way one would think but hidden in my dreams. It's hidden away and you can't see it. No one can. Well I say no one, the ones that matter the most can see it as though it was placed upon a giant billboard with flashing neon lights advertising my deepest darkest secrets. But that's okay. I don't mind letting them see.
My heart is breaking in places I did not know it could. And you are holding me so I don't fall like the moment before sleep creeps in. I don't want to fall asleep and miss my life. I want to be here with you, with it all. Even if it's just washing our clothes, making tea or watching that programme that we don't admit to anyone because it's silly somehow. We don't tell others these things because it's not for them. It's ours and only ours to keep. We save them in that tiny box at the back of the wardrobe.
I run around the block to see if I'm still up to it. There are no warm ups in life. I'm here. Where are you?