Time just stops without you in it

Dust is covering everything that I know to be true. It is like powder covering my face and my eyes glisten through it. You can see me clearly as though it doesn’t matter what happens you are able to reach me. It is always you. The impossible feat of things it’s never too much for you. You take it in your stride and walk around like the ground carries you into the water. I’m also wading through trying to keep afloat just to be next to you. Then something happened and you stop seeing me the way you used to. I can’t seem to put my finger on what changed but I will never forget that moment but I  felt it strongly and I could hardly breathe. I tried to stop it from happening but I knew the truth, we kept holding on for a few more moments but you were gone. I could feel it in my bones. The water was up to my ankles and now it’s to me knees. In the next breath it will cover me whole. And now I’m gone and you are still walking seamlessly in the breeze. Life has always been good for you. I try and keep believing you will return to me. I find a leaf and keep it in my pocket the one I use least often as a sign I will wait the longest time for you to come back to me. These days my eyes are tired and sad from all the waiting. I’m always waiting and you always have the upper hand. Waiting is a painful thing, because time just stops without you in it. Come back to me and tell me your secrets like we used to do when we were 5. I wish we could sit on the swings with our hair around our shoulders. I look for the leaf and realised I dropped it somewhere along the road, I frantically search for it but know I’ve lost you now.